“Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.” — Psalm 119:105
It’s been a while since I have blogged, though not because I have a lack of topics on my mind. I have allowed fear and doubt to control me over the past few weeks. I began my Facebook page to hold myself accountable (by giving me a place to share my blogs) and to pass on what God puts on my heart to write. He has led me to various topics, but I have failed to have faith that He is really trying to use me to pass His message along to others.
Fear and doubt can cripple me. Related to this adventure, the following are all the lies I have allowed myself to believe and the doubt that Satan has put in my head:
– I am so early on in this journey, there is nothing for me to contribute to help others on their walks.
– Those who know me are going to judge me for what I am writing.
– How do I know this is coming from God, rather than it being my own desire to write?
– Why would God use me to reach out to others who are much more rooted in their faith?
– I won’t reach anyone new. And I am telling people things they already know.
All of these fears and doubts kept me from writing. They cause me to place more importance on other things, rather than carving out the time to just write. I tell myself there hasn’t been time, but the real truth is I have been afraid to continue to step out in faith and move where I believe God is leading me. I started this blog entry on my phone, no longer relying on the excuse that I don’t have time (to get my journal, find my pen, reference my Bible, etc.). There are two Bible plans I am currently reading that have reaffirmed this for me. If I don’t step out of my comfort zone, I’ll never realize where God is leading me. The one plan’s commentary discussed how God won’t illuminate our entire path so that we can see the destination, but rather He lights our steps along the way. We just need to have faith and take those steps.
“When you make a vow to God, do not delay to fulfill it.” — Ecclesiastes 5:4
I prayed for God to speak to me and asked Him to use me. In my journal, I had multiple entries where I felt as though God spoke to my heart and said to write, share my experiences. I spent all those months praying to hear His will for me, and when I really felt like I heard Him, I got scared and stopped. He’s continued to put ideas on my heart and I have continued to fill my notebook with Scripture and topics, but failed to take that next step of actually sharing it with those who support me by following my page. I will do a better job of writing out my topics and I know that God will get the message to those who need to hear it.
In closing, I have a prayer request for anyone who is reading this. Please, please pray for my cousin Annie and her husband CT. He has been battling cancer and was told this past week it’s terminal. I refuse to believe that and know that God can heal him. So please, pray for healing. Pray for comfort and grace. They need it, and appreciate it. I know the power of prayer – I whole-heartedly believe that Caitlin and I are here because of the power of God and prayer. Join me in asking God for His healing hands to touch CT and take away the cancer. Thanks in advance.