It’s been a while…I have really missed blogging. It amazes me how quickly time can get away. At the beginning of 2015, I told myself I would write more. And then life continues to happen, at an alarmingly faster pace with each month. I become consumed with kid’s activities, keeping up with my youngest who is now mobile, housework (although you may not believe this if you come to my house), trying to enjoy summer vacation with my kids… Suddenly, I realize how little time I have spent in God’s word since school let out. I have been attempting to journal more, and this is how my journal started today:
“Interrupted. As I wrote that word, my oldest daughter came in and literally interrupted me. As I write this, my son interrupted me. It can be so, so difficult to find time to just sit and be with you, Lord.”
I spent the rest of my afternoon playing with the kids, acting as a referee for the random spats between my oldest kids, and going on a play date with a dear friend and her kids. So tonight, I had some unexpected quiet time with a nearly empty house.
Lately, I have been in a rut. I am full of unexplainable anxiety. There’s nothing that I am aware of that is going to be happening soon, no real reason to feel full of anxiety…yet it’s there. It’s starting to grip me and try to close me off. I feel it, too. I want to just stay in my house with my kids, but I am trying to work through it. I take my kids out, we visit with friends…but it’s still there. I’m not always good at hiding it, so as a result I may seem distant or quiet. Off. At the same time, I am craving Scripture like I craved Wint-O-Green lifesavers recently. Yet finding the time to sit and take it in isn’t going so well. For me, I want to just sit, read, write, and think about it. I want my marked up Bible in my hand, not reading verses on my phone. I want to soak it in and really hear God speaking to me.
This anxiety though.
Peter tells us to tell God why we are anxious, because he cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). I am giving God my anxiety, knowing He is the One who can take it away. I trust in Him, and I trust in His plan for my life. If you see me and I seem off, pray for me. I may still be working through this whole anxiety issue. I felt compelled to share this because I don’t think I’m alone. In this crazy world, there are so many Earthly things than can just bog down our hearts and spirits. It’s then that we need to turn to God, first and foremost. We also need our community, though. We need our families, we need our God-provided friends. Are there any verses that help if you begin to feel this way? I invite you to share them, and know they don’t fall on deaf ears. Someone needs this, just as much as I do.