Today has been a tough day. I don’t say that seeking sympathy, just stating a fact. My hard days since we moved have become less and less frequent, praise God. But today . . . just started off on the wrong foot. My oldest daughter had a terrible headache, one she’d been battling since last night, and although she wanted to go to church, she looked too pitiful. On the other hand, my son and youngest daughter both protested church. It’s something we’ve battled each week we go. Mainly, the inconsistency on our part doesn’t help the situation. Between traveling, company, sports (because we aren’t in the Bible belt anymore and Sunday late morning/early afternoons are acceptable for sports!), and random things that have come up, I find myself attending church more often than not alone. And my consistency is only helped by the fact that I serve at our church.
While I understood the situation this morning, I found myself very emotional and in tears. The church we attend . . . it’s big. I don’t know many people. I always feel incredibly vulnerable sitting by myself in church. So on my drive there, I talked to God and just poured out my heart. I miss the community we had in West Virginia. I miss knowing if I had to go to church alone, I could find a couple handfuls of people to go sit beside. I miss my friends. I miss the familiarity. I miss the worship team at our church. And today, it just hit me kind of hard.
When I walked in, I found a spot near where I normally sit. The crowd was really small before service, so I just sat there feeling awkward being in church alone. It’s just one of my things. You will never find me at a restaurant or a movie by myself! And all of a sudden, I recognized friends that lead our life group a few rows in front of me. The couple that arrived late and took the seats next to me, I served with them when I first started. I recognized the worship music today. Going to my class after service, I recognized another sweet mom I’ve met through Mom’s Club. I’ve gotten to know the nice woman who serves the service before me, and I really enjoy the couple I serve alongside.
Last night, my daughter and I worked on our weekly devotional together. I love the verse we covered:
“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” Matthew 6:26 (ESV)
God provides for the birds. God provides for us. God provides for me.
This Scripture was in one of the worship songs today. God placed people I recognize around me today when I was feeling quite alone. He was letting me know that He is in control, and He will provide for me.
Community, it takes time. The seeds are planted here. I am moving in the right direction. Thank you, Lord, for speaking to me today. I left church still missing my old community, but also just in awe of how quick God is to respond sometimes. I am incredibly thankful for the people He placed on my path not only today, but since our move to Ohio.
And my God will supply every need of yours [and mine] according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
That’s a powerful piece of Truth to being my week. Maybe it’ll encourage you as well.