The 22 year old version of myself has been itching to come out today. During my college years and the few years after (before I started to date my now husband), I LOVED to shop. I still do, but I have a grasp on it . . . most of the time. But I was really bad about it then. I didn’t make much money, so I relied on credit cards. I especially liked when a new store would tell me how much I could SAVE by opening a store credit card. Shopping provided me comfort.
Needless to say, the past seven weeks have been stressful. All the normal little stressors seem exacerbated by the underlying grief I am experiencing. I’ve had more of an itch to shop, knowing that it can provide me temporary relief from all the emotions I am feeling. But there’s the key word: temporary. Even in my early 20’s, the euphoria from buying a new shirt (or five), a new book, or whatever caught my eye was temporary. Then the bills would come in, I’d wonder how I’d pay everything that month. I’d become stressed over money and then would want to go shop. Makes sense, right?
So today, I’ve been meditating on this verse. God provides me all I need. Shopping will not “fix” me; it will only add to my stress. Perhaps you have something you do for comfort, but in reality it doesn’t provide the true comfort you need. When that urge hits, know it’s the enemy trying to distract you. Nothing in this world will provide comfort like God does. I’ve resisted the urge to go buy something in order to feel better. Instead, I’ve read Scripture. I’ve prayed. My prayers today have been painfully raw. I’ve shared my anger with God. My exhaustion. My stress. My need for comfort . . . and in return I’ve come across verses that remind me God alone will provide me all I need.
If you need comfort and are looking in worldly places, I encourage you to set that aside and fix your eyes above. Meditate on this Scripture. Find one that suites your personal need. Resist the temptation to turn away from God when He will provide you what you are needing.
I’m trying. One day at a time.