Afraid – Day 2

I worked for a life insurance company when my oldest daughter and son were little. Looking back, I can see God’s handiwork.

My co-worker Teresa Smith loves Jesus. She openly shared her faith. No matter what happened, she had a peaceful presence and a smile on her face. Her demeanor piqued my curiosity about a relationship with God. Something began to stir inside me.

Fear kept me from accepting her invitation to attend church. She belonged to a non-denominational church, a big change from the Catholic Church in which I grew up. My husband is Catholic as well, and I feared what he might think if I showed interest in attending a different church. I didn’t know much about sin, but I thought surely this would be one. I feared what my family would think of me going to a non-Catholic church.

This fear controlled me. I refused to go to church, despite wanting to attend. I read my Bible but did not understand it. It did not make sense.

I quit that job when the opportunity arose to stay home with my kids. During this time, we also moved into a new neighborhood. Our new neighbors came to introduce themselves on the day we moved in. My daughter instantly had a new best friend. So did I. My new best friend wore her faith on her sleeve. Over time, I shared with her my feelings about God and this weird stirring I felt. We had many, many conversations about faith.

In the summer of 2013, my daughter had a sleepover with her friend and attended church. She loved it. The next week, we went as a family and kept returning.

Tears fill my eyes as I recall this path. I now see the Holy Spirit stirring in my soul. I appreciate the effort God put into pursuing me. He chased me for YEARS. He placed a series of Godly women in my path to call me back to Him. My sweet firstborn daughter, who still has a heart for Jesus, played such an important role in God’s story of my life.

Fear is a liar.

My husband supported my desire to attend a different church. My family has never spoken out against me for attending a non-denominational church. I recently participated in a Catholic Bible study, and the women welcomed me with open arms. The enemy saw God enticing me, he knew the plans God had for me, and he worked hard to destroy it.

But God.

God is so, so good.

In pursuit of Him,

Jennifer

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s