I uncomfortably sat in the circle, listening to other women share their stories of finding God. I soaked up the words, holding them close as I tried to sort out this whole idea of a “testimony.” I settled on defining it (to myself) as the one moment when a person truly knew about God.
On the drive home that day, I prayed. Lord, I want to share my story too. But, I’ve always believed in you. I don’t know what my testimony is. Reveal to me that one moment that I fully believed in you. Please, Lord. I considered myself a Christian because I believed in God’s existence. I always had! I didn’t feel as though I had anything to share with this group, yet wanted so much to connect with them.
I forgot about this prayer over the next months. I continued to attend Bible study (attend, not participate), read my Bible, and moved on to different prayers. I became pregnant with our third child, had a devastating phone call with my obstetrician, saw a high risk doctor and underwent testing, found out our biggest fears were not likely, then was put on bed rest. It was through the course of this pregnancy that I surrendered my life to Christ and had a radical change of heart.
On July 20, 2014, nine weeks into bed rest and three days from my scheduled c-section, I jolted awake from a nap. Remember when you asked me for your testimony? I’ve given it to you. Now share it. God brought that prayer to mind and spoke to me in a way I cannot deny was Him.
Over four years ago, God called me to share this story: the whole story. It’s His, not mine. It is a story of what God can do in a person who is lost and doesn’t realize it. It is a story of His powerful love. It is His story of how radically a person’s heart can be changed. My heart truly sought Him on that day I prayed. I asked, and He received.
Yet, I find myself scared to share this story. It isn’t so extraordinary. Other people have overcome far more than me. Their stories are much more powerful. Mine is just . . . normal.
So why now?
God told me to share my testimony. He took my ordinary life and changed me in an extraordinary way. He placed every single piece of the puzzle together to lead me to that one terrible yet magnificent moment in time. I have no idea why He called me to share it – and is still doing so – but four years later, I am going to trust Him.